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by Abigail Van Buren

Conference Attendee Wants To Stay Out of the Picture

DEAR ABBY: Three months ago, I went out on three dates with "Kevin." Then he sent me a text saying he didn't feel I could offer him the relationship he is looking for, but he wants to remain friends because he has fun with me. I agreed, and we've gotten together many times since and communicate often.

I am not physically attracted to him, but I sense he is attracted to me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Since we agreed to be friends, he has invited me over for "movie and cuddle night," put his arm around me, asked to kiss me and booked a hotel room with only one bed and no sofa. It's like I am his placeholder until he finds a real girlfriend, and he wants to spend time with me only out of boredom and loneliness. I don't know how to break things off nicely. -- NOT INTERESTED IN THE WEST

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: I think you have Kevin pegged correctly. Here's how to distance yourself "nicely." Tell him you like him very much. But as a platonic friend only. Explain that kissing, cuddling and sharing a bed are things you do with a boyfriend, and it's time for both of you to move on. Then do it.