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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband With a Secret Past Feels Compelled To Share It

DEAR ABBY: What does one do in the case of lending out DVDs and never seeing them again? This happened to me at the start of the year. The perpetrators are members of the church I attend. One is the assistant pastor.

When I have asked about my DVDs, the borrowers have been very vague. I think those who attend one's church should be trustworthy. What do you think I should do besides refuse to lend anything? -- MIFFED IN MISSOURI

DEAR MIFFED: Your DVDs may have been lost, damaged or loaned to someone else who didn't return them. In any of those scenarios, the person(s) who failed to return the items should have offered to repay you for them. That no one did reflects badly on the borrowers.

That said, there is nothing you can do now besides be less generous in the future. In the meantime, continue hounding the borrowers.