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Friends Take It Personally When Protective Mom Keeps Baby to Herself

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a touchy situation, and I'm not sure what to do. My daughter's getting married soon, and her matron of honor, "Teresa," has caused this. We have known her since she was young. We have taken her many places with us, helped with her bridal shower and with preparations for her wedding.

Teresa had a baby two months ago and brought her to my daughter's bridal shower. When my mom asked to hold the infant, Teresa refused! Now Mom is very upset. This is the same person Teresa used to call "Grandma."

I'm upset about it, too, but Teresa doesn't seem to care. She's afraid of her baby getting "germs." We are not dirty people. It almost feels like since we aren't of use to her anymore, we don't matter. How do we react at the wedding? -- DISSED IN OHIO

DEAR DISSED: If Teresa didn't want her baby exposed to germs, she should not have brought the infant with her to the shower. That said, I do not think her protectiveness was intended to be a personal insult to your family. Be polite and warm when the big day arrives. Because she will be busy with her matron of honor duties at the wedding, she should not bring the child with her because it could divert attention from the bride.

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