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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Is Ready to End Marriage to Slovenly Husband

DEAR ABBY: My husband is 67 and at least 45 pounds overweight. His breasts could fill a C-cup bra, and his belly looks nine months pregnant. Problem is, he wears running shorts around the house and no shirt. Everything hangs out regardless of whether we're alone or have family visiting. It's embarrassing.

When I ask him to dress or at least put on a shirt, he says it's his home, he can dress any way he wants, and if someone disapproves, they can leave. That's exactly what I am ready to do. I am disgusted seeing him look like this. Also, when we are alone, he tends to skinny dip in our swimming pool.

I'm afraid our 18-year marriage is over. For the last five years we have lived like roommates with separate bedrooms. Do you agree I should leave? He flat-out refuses any counseling for us. -- LOOKING THE OTHER WAY

DEAR LOOKING: You are asking me a question I can't answer for you. Because your husband refuses counseling doesn't mean you couldn't benefit from talking to someone, in light of the fact that you are contemplating such a life-changing decision. Please go, because the answer to your question lies within yourself.

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