DEAR ABBY: I met my husband 22 years ago and decided to move in with him. I was 21. My mother has never approved of him. He is a blue-collar, hardworking, huge-hearted man. We fell hard for each other, and I didn't care that he wasn't rich. I know Mom was disappointed that I didn't marry a doctor or a lawyer. Instead, I married the man I fell in love with.
The last 22 years haven't been easy. She acts like she accepts him, but then she says horrible things about him. We both have helped my parents during some difficult times, but she still says things that hurt like, "I'm glad you two never had kids."
Well, lo and behold, I ended up getting pregnant at 40, and we have an amazing son together. I keep trying to start over with Mom, especially since my son was born, but she has continued her evil ways.
I'm finally done with her, and my husband and I have decided to move to another state where my husband's family lives so our son can grow up surrounded by loving people. I feel sad, but my mother is not willing to accept us. Am I doing the right thing by moving? (My father passed away, and we hung in through her verbal abuse just to make sure Dad was well taken care of.) -- ANXIOUS IN ARIZONA
DEAR ANXIOUS: I'm sorry for what you and your husband have been put through. You have clearly tried to make the relationship with your mother work. Because you are a mother now, focus on creating a happy life for your son, your husband and yourself. You are doing the right thing for the right reasons. Your mother is toxic. Bon voyage!