DEAR ABBY: Last night my wife and I, both retired M.D.s, met our daughter "Jackie," her wife, "Kelly," and Jackie's daughter for dinner at a restaurant to celebrate Jackie's 50th birthday. Kelly had called a couple of weeks ago to invite us.
My wife and I pay the check when we meet Jackie and her family to eat, which is usually brunch on Sunday, but because Kelly invited us, we were unsure whether we should last night. (Our son gets upset if we offer to pay in similar circumstances.) My wife asked Kelly at the table if we could pay for our dinners. We had already presented Jackie with a birthday card with a check for $1,000 enclosed.
Jackie texted us today, incensed that we did not pick up the check. Should we have? Jackie is a Ph.D. and makes a comfortable living. Her wife is an Ivy League graduate. -- BAFFLED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR BAFFLED: Your daughter's manners are appalling. Her wife invited you and your wife to the dinner, which made you HER guests. It was sweet (and generous) of your wife to ask if the two of you could pay for your meals -- in addition to the very generous gift you had given your daughter. If apologies are in order, the people who should receive them are you and your wife.