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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom of Four Leaves Longtime Boyfriend to Date a Teenager

DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of a 31-year-old daughter who recently broke up with her longtime boyfriend so she can be with a 17-year-old kid. I probably wouldn't be upset if she didn't have sons who are 15, 14, 12 and a daughter, 10, who considered the man she broke up with their dad. Her new love is only two years older than her oldest. I am having a hard time accepting this and so are my grandkids.

I haven't talked to my daughter about her choice because I know she's an adult and the bottom line is it isn't really my business. I do worry about how much confusion this causes the kids.

I don't know if I can accept this new "man" in her life. To tell you the truth, I want nothing to do with him. I want to continue seeing my grandchildren, though, which will mean I'll have to deal with this person on some level. How? -- THROWN IN NEW YORK

DEAR THROWN: Here's how. Be a lady. You have a right to express your opinion privately, but when you see him, be cordial and do not make apparent how much you disapprove of the relationship. If you alienate him, you will lose. The result will be that you see less of him, your daughter will be upset with you and you will see less of your grandkids.

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