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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Is Stunned by Delayed Grief Over Loss of His Wife

DEAR ABBY: My wife died recently. We were very happy. We had six beautiful children and were married for 58 wonderful years.

It has been a month since her funeral, and I have been able to cope somewhat with her loss. But suddenly, a couple of days ago, I experienced a tremendous wave of grief and thought I would go crazy with not being able to see her again. I began to be afraid I'd have to be hospitalized, perhaps in a psychiatric ward and medicated. But my son told me this condition (everything "hitting" you in a delayed reaction) has been documented in a majority of cases. Is this true? -- GRIEVING TEXAN

DEAR GRIEVING TEXAN: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your wife. I am sure you feel her loss profoundly.

Not everyone grieves in the same way. Some feel numb and can't understand why they can't feel anything after a loved one dies. Others feel the loss immediately and can't sleep, eat or stop crying.

Your son is absolutely right. What happened to you is not unusual. However, if feelings of being out of control persist, you should discuss them with your doctor.

Read more in: Death