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by Abigail Van Buren

Maintaining Friend's Website Becomes Unwelcome Burden

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law has always been a bully and a chronic liar. It has torn our family apart. He'll tell one family member one thing, and the other another story for the purpose of getting them mad at each other. He is also a narcissist. Innocent people have been victimized by all of this.

Now he is moving on to the elderly neighbors and lying to them about family members. Confronting him will do no good. We have tried. How do we get him to stop the bullying and lying? His wife is no help because she has been brainwashed and can no longer think for herself. Please help. Maybe by publishing this letter it will turn on a lightbulb. -- DESPERATE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR DESPERATE: Because your brother-in-law is now spreading misinformation among the elderly neighbors, explain to them that he has a "personality disorder" and a problem with the truth. Then give them some examples and, with luck, you can nip this in the bud.