DEAR ABBY: After many years of much silence, backstabbing and abuse from my sister, I got a text from her telling me she's starting chemo for a form of leukemia. This has been going on for more than four years, but she thought now I should be "in the loop."
I told her I will be praying for her. I had to hold back the emotional, "What can I do for you?" She lives about five hours away, but knowing my siblings, I know they'll be hanging around and judging me on what I do next. I told her I am in shock right now.
I have very mixed emotions about how to handle this news -- from trust issues to guilt to pain. We are both in our mid-60s. Any advice would be helpful. -- LOST SIS
DEAR LOST SIS: Start by doing what you said you would -- praying for her. A few days -- or weeks -- after her treatment has started, call to see how she is doing. If the call goes well, continue to check in on her. If she wants you to come, put aside your differences and pay her a visit. If the call doesn't go well, don't put yourself in that position again, and do not apologize or feel guilty for doing it. Forgive her and forgive yourself.