Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Invitations From Friend Are Declined for Safety Reasons

DEAR ABBY: I have a former co-worker whose husband was just released from a psychiatric facility. He had threatened to kill himself and take the entire family with him. I met him before the incident. He did not seem balanced then, and I was uncomfortable being around him.

Since his release, my friend keeps inviting me to their house and wants to come to mine. I keep making excuses for not allowing visits to my house or hers. I still have a bad feeling about being exposed to him and possibly putting myself in danger. I have been in abusive relationships in the past, and one attack was nearly fatal.

I have spoken to her about the dangers of being with a person such as him. But she says she can't leave because they have three children on the spectrum. Am I being silly? -- APPREHENSIVE IN TEXAS

DEAR APPREHENSIVE: No, you are not being silly. Listen to your gut. Nowhere in your letter did you indicate that you and the wife are close friends. If you are uncomfortable being around her husband because of your own history, you do not have to be.

Read more in: Friends & Neighbors | Mental Health | Health & Safety | Abuse