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by Abigail Van Buren

Job Dissatisfaction Causes Headaches for Husband, Wife

DEAR ABBY: My husband suffers from migraines and has never been happy in any job he's had. He has tried every available treatment for his migraines, to no avail. He still has them daily. I think they may be partly psychological.

In the 10 years we've been married, he has had six different jobs. The longest one lasted three years but ended miserably. He went on sick leave because of his manager and eventually quit on bad terms.

As soon as he doesn't like a person above him or a situation, his migraines get worse and he quits. He's now talking about leaving the job he got two months ago. He sees two different therapists to deal with these and other issues.

Where do I draw the line between being a supportive wife and just wanting a stable life for our family? We have two young kids. I earn a good income and have always had stable jobs (more than five years per company). I started a new job six months ago that is very stressful, and this has been tough on me. Please give me some advice. -- MISERABLE IN MONTREAL

DEAR MISERABLE: Because the stress of your marriage is now affecting you, it's time to make an appointment with a therapist for yourself. Whether your husband's migraines are real, psychosomatic or an excuse to run from an uncomfortable situation, I can't guess. You need an expert who is closer to home to help you figure this out. Please don't wait. You have my sympathy.

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