DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who recently got married at the courthouse. Her parents were willing to host a wedding for her, but she chose not to have one since she and her husband live far from her hometown.
About a month after the wedding, I received a card in the mail announcing that she had gotten married, stating she and her husband are trying to buy a house and gift cards to start their new life would be appreciated. Abby, isn't it out of line for someone to ask for gifts when they didn't have a wedding and didn't tell anyone about their elopement until afterward? Several of my friends eloped, and I was never asked to send a gift. Was this rude, or is it normal behavior for people who do not have a wedding? -- NORMAL OR NOT? IN COLORADO
DEAR N. OR N.: This is not normal behavior. It's a gift grab, and you are not obligated to send this couple anything beyond your good wishes. To request gifts is a serious breach of etiquette. Had you contacted her and asked if there was anything they needed, telling you then would have been appropriate.