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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Dodges Wife's Questions About Giving Away Money

DEAR ABBY: I recently found out my husband has been sending money to family and friends behind my back. He constantly sends money to his adult daughter who plays him like a fiddle.

It isn't large amounts, but I have two issues with it. When it's time to pay bills, I end up paying more than my share because he doesn't have the money (we split our budget a while ago). Also, when I have asked if he has been doing this, he lies to my face.

This isn't the first time he has lied to me, and I don't know how to move past it. Last time, it was about drugs. I was ready to walk away because therapy helped me see that the problem wasn't me, but then we worked on it. Now it's about money.

I love him and would like to spend the rest of my life with him, but if there's anything I can't stand it's a liar. What should I do? -- LIED TO IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR LIED TO: You should not be paying more than your share of the bills. It isn't fair to you. By paying other people's bills, your husband is enabling them to remain dependent upon him -- and you. Call the therapist who helped you the last time. It appears you have more work to do.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Money