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by Abigail Van Buren

Co-Workers Rally Around One Cancer Patient More Than Another

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. I had surgery and radiation treatment, and although my recovery was slow, I am doing well now.

About a year ago, a co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our other co-workers raised a large sum of money for her to be used at a spa. They have also offered her emotional support via phone calls, texts, visits and cards. While I don't begrudge her the gifts and support, I'm very hurt that all I received was a handful of cards, an occasional phone call or text and one visit from one person. Only one of my co-workers stuck by me through everything.

I see these people all the time, and I'm having a hard time with my hurt feelings. Any thoughts on how I can move on? As a sidebar, these people are always the first ones to ask me for help and support at work. -- HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT: There is nothing to be gained by nursing this disappointment. You and this woman are different people and likely have different relationships with these co-workers. If you don't want to help the people you feel gave you short shrift by comparison, you are free not to. But if you intend to continue working at the place you now do, recognize that it is time to put this behind you and move forward.

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