DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband, "Ken," for 34 years. At home, he doesn't pay much attention to me. Although he's generally helpful around the house, he puts his needs first. Because we run a small business together, we are together most of the time.
When we go over to friends' for dinner or to a party, Ken complains that I don't talk with him enough or notice if he's alone and not engaged in conversation. He feels I should be more aware of him and stay by his side. I am more outgoing than he is. I make conversation easily and find people to be involved with.
Is he right? Should his needs be more on my radar? Shouldn't I have the freedom to enjoy those around me, assuming that Ken can take care of himself? I know he's less at ease in social situations, but I need interaction with others. -- WONDERING WHAT'S RIGHT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WONDERING: Knowing Ken isn't as socially adept as you, the kind thing would be to keep an eye on him at these dinners/parties to make sure he isn't isolated. If he is standing by himself, ask him to join in the conversations you are having. Not every couple is equally outgoing, and it may be a bit of a balancing act, but supportive spouses make an effort to compensate for the other's deficits if asked to, as your husband has.