DEAR ABBY: How many times must one save the date for a destination "wedding"? Three and a half years ago my husband was asked to be a groomsman in a destination wedding. We agreed and saved the date, paid for travel and accommodations (none refundable). The wedding was canceled because the bride was expecting.
We endured the same process again, only for her to be eight months pregnant for that date. It was canceled again. We were then asked to take off work to drive to a private ceremony on a week's notice, only for that ceremony to be canceled. After that, the couple subsequently married privately.
We have just received another save the date! Are we obligated to go? My husband believes he is, because he had told them he would be a groomsman nearly four years ago. I say, because they are ALREADY married (and we are already out $1,000), we should be off the hook. Is there a way to convince my husband of that? -- NEVER A BRIDESMAID
DEAR NEVER: Probably not. However, your reasoning seems sound to me, and your husband is no more "on the hook" than he wants to be. Why he would still feel obligated to go through with this charade is beyond me. Be glad you are married to someone as patient, loyal and responsible as your husband is -- all the things his friend is not.