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by Abigail Van Buren

Move Toward Better Future Means Leaving Family Behind

DEAR ABBY: We live in an area where rent is very high and buying is out of the question. The nearby lower-priced areas have terrible schools and aren't safe. Because we have a small child, these are real concerns.

We have an opportunity to move to another state where costs are much lower. We could buy a nice home, the schools are excellent, and I could still maintain my same job and salary. The problem is, it would mean moving away from my family.

I want to give my daughter the chance to grow up in circumstances where we aren't constantly worried about not building home equity or saving toward retirement. But I worry that taking her away from her extended family will be rough.

My husband's relatives live all over the world. He has been in so many countries and states that he's used to not having family around. He wants us to move so we can buy a house and save for retirement. What's your advice? -- RACHEL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RACHEL: You have given solid reasons for making the move. Chief among them is that your child will have a brighter future if she grows up in a safe environment and gets the best education possible, plus there will be less worry about all of you being safe. It is equally important for you and your husband to be able to accumulate enough in savings that your retirement years will be comfortable.

Listen to your husband because you have married a smart man. I know family is important, but your daughter already knows who they are. You may be able to visit with them in person or stay in touch via video-chatting. This is the way many families maintain close ties, and I hope you will consider it.

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