DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who insists anywhere she is that we all have to freeze so she is comfortable. What should we do? -- SHIVERING IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR SHIVERING: Wear a jacket.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who insists anywhere she is that we all have to freeze so she is comfortable. What should we do? -- SHIVERING IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR SHIVERING: Wear a jacket.
DEAR ABBY: This isn't a dog question but a romance one. I think my wife would rather I sleep on the dog bed and the dog sleep with her. Every morning she quietly slides out of bed to pet the dog instead of rolling over and connecting with me. At night they go to bed at the same time. The dog also gets most of her attention during the day.
We have been married for 20 years and have three kids. I'm tired of living in a marriage without romance. I can't remember the last time my wife initiated intimacy. We have sex maybe twice a month. While I don't want a divorce -- yet -- I'm almost at that point. Being a man, abstinence is not part of my DNA.
I love my wife. She's a great mom and spouse in most ways, except when it comes to affection and intimacy. I have talked with her about this, but nothing changes. Honestly, I think she'd be OK if we never had sex again. I know there's a saying that "If you are not having sex with your husband, someone else is," and I'm beginning to think that is my future. Please advise because I am running on empty. -- CLOSE TO DOGGONE DONE
DEAR CLOSE TO DOGGONE DONE: Talk to your wife again and ask her why she avoids having relations with you. Is it something you are (or aren't) doing? Has sex become physically painful for her? Could she be approaching menopause, with the inevitable hormonal changes that accompany it?
If it's either of the latter two possibilities, she needs to talk to her doctor about possible solutions. However, if it's something else, then it's time to enlist the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a student who maintains a decent GPA. However, my parents believe they have a genius in the making.
Since I started at a new school, my mother has been pressuring me more than twice as much. She no longer talks to me except to pester me about that B or C in algebra or any other class. I understand that she wants me to be smart, and I know I should be trying to live up to her expectations of a flawless, straight-A student, but I don't believe I can. Please help me. -- UNDER PRESSURE
DEAR UNDER PRESSURE: It might help if you would talk with your teachers about this, and ask if THEY think you are working up to capacity. If they feel you could be studying more effectively, they may be able to help you earn better grades.
However, if that's not the case, ask if they would speak to your mother at the next parent-teacher conference and explain to her that you are doing all you can. The kind of pressure you're getting at home may not only not help you to raise your grades, it may be counterproductive.
DEAR ABBY: My husband recently broke his eyeglasses. Because they couldn't be repaired locally, he sent them by mail to a company that had been referred to him. They fixed his glasses and returned them to him.
A short time later he received an email from the company "salesperson" requesting a tip! ("If you are happy with me as your salesperson and would like to give me a tip, please click on the link below.") My husband replied, "Can you please send me a receipt? I need it for my records." She replied, "How much will you tip me?" He said, "Is the only way I can get a receipt for my repairs if I tip you?" She replied, "Yes, can you give me $5?"
I have never heard of an online company soliciting tips before, let alone refusing to send a receipt unless one is given. How would you respond to this? Getting a receipt is not the important thing here; it's the solicitation that dumbfounds me! -- DUMBFOUNDED IN TINLEY PARK, ILL.
DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Every time I think I have heard everything, a letter like yours crosses my desk. The word for what that salesperson is attempting is extortion. Your husband should contact the owner of the company that repaired his glasses, tell the person the name of the employee who is trying to extort money and the date it happened, and request the receipt. If it doesn't arrive posthaste, the company should be reported to the Better Business Bureau.
P.S. Who referred you to that company? That person should also be informed about what has been going on.
DEAR ABBY: Ever since my son was a baby (he's almost 6 now), my husband and I have printed photograph invitations for his birthday parties. We sent the invitations to everyone, including those who lived too far away to attend, so people could have a current picture of him.
After reading many of your archives, I realize this may be perceived as a bid for gifts, and I no longer wish to do it. I would still like to send out a picture card of some sort. Any ideas on how to do it without making anyone think we want gifts? -- DON'T WANT TO MAKE WAVES
DEAR DON'T: A way to do that would be to send them during the holidays when your friends and relatives are sending out cards to friends and acquaintances.
DEAR ABBY: I work the newspaper crossword puzzle every day. I came across an answer recently that stumped me. It was an "abbreviation for bowling lane." The answer was AMF. I'm asking you what it stands for because I cannot get a straight answer. What is so secretive about this logo? Please help. -- STUMPED IN TEXAS
DEAR STUMPED: The clue may have been misleading. AMF is a brand. It stands for American Machine and Foundry, which many years ago was one of the nation's largest recreational equipment companies.
DEAR ABBY: I'm originally from El Salvador. I have been living in the U.S. for five years, have been studying English for four years and I have my GED.
I want to join the U.S. Marine Corps because it is my dream. I want to do it because I think that service to this country is the best thing I can do. I want to protect this country, and I want my family to be proud of me.
Here is the problem: My mom and my wife don't want me to do it because they say it is dangerous. I love them both, but I want to achieve my dream. What should I do? -- DREAMING IN HOUSTON
DEAR DREAMING: I appreciate the concern your mother and your wife feel for your safety. Because they love you, of course they worry. However, the person who must live your life is you. If joining the United States Marine Corps is your dream, then following your dream is what you should do. Now is the time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife because this decision will have an impact on her life as well as yours.
DEAR ABBY: I raised my children to be respectful, responsible adults who are career- and family-oriented. Both are college graduates, married and successful.
My eldest daughter recently announced that she has been "going through something" and surprised us with a tattoo on her shoulder sporting her children's names on a colorful, rather large background. I was shocked because she works at a large banking firm and was recently promoted as a senior financial investor. I'm now afraid it will impede her career advancement, and also concerned it will encourage her two young daughters to get tattoos.
I have never encouraged my children to do something like this. In fact, I did the opposite. I did not comment about hers. She has known how her dad and I have felt about this since she was a young child.
Am I overreacting? What does a mother say about something so permanent? I no longer feel I know this person I thought was "conservative." -- DISAPPOINTED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Yes, you are overreacting. This is not a referendum on your parenting or your daughter's character. In a situation like this, a mother should ask her daughter what "things" she has been going through, and what that tattoo means to her. The mother should also recognize that her daughter is an adult now, and her choice to apply body art is just that -- a choice. Then she should listen carefully to what her daughter has to say, so that, if necessary, she can be supportive.
DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter moved out of our home a couple of weeks ago. Do I have the right to ask for our key back since she no longer lives here and she moved in with someone I don't trust as far as I can throw him? -- TEXAS GRANNY
DEAR GRANNY: You not only have the right, but your granddaughter should have offered to return the key at the time she moved out. Don't be mean about it, just ask for the key. Or, because you don't trust the person she's now living with, have your locks changed in case he has already made a copy. It may cost you some money, but your peace of mind is worth it.