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Husband Fathers a Child During Couple's Separation

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I separated last year and reconciled several months later. When we decided to get back together, he broke it off with his girlfriend. A month later she contacted him to inform him that she's pregnant with his child. She's due in a few months.

My husband and I disagree about how things should be handled when the child arrives. She says I'm not allowed to come to the hospital with him and meet the baby. I say that going without me is absurd, and any child that belongs to my husband is a part of my life, too. However, he says she is in charge of the situation. I'm worried that when the baby is born I'll be at home alone with a broken heart. Where should I draw the line with my husband? -- WORRIED WIFE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Forgive me if this seems cynical, but is your husband absolutely sure that the baby is his? And, if it is, to what extent does he plan to be involved in the child's life? If he participates in raising him/her, then you are right, his child will become a part of your life. If he decides to do no more than write support checks, the impact on you will be much less.

Frankly, I don't blame you for feeling worried. If a paternity test hasn't proved he's the father of the baby, he should discuss this with a lawyer to insist there be one.

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