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by Abigail Van Buren

Alcoholic Is a Monster at Night With No Memory in the Morning

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for four years, and before that, I knew him for about a year. At the time, he was very loving and considerate, but right after we got married, his true nature emerged.

He drinks heavily every night and says horrible things. In the morning, he has no recollection of it and expects me to be loving and warm to him. I can't bring myself to do it. He is always accusing me of cheating on him, even though I have given him no reason. He has a GPS on my phone, and if I don't answer his texts or calls immediately, he goes ballistic.

Abby, I'm not happy and have often thought about running away. During the day he helps me, but at night he becomes a completely different person. I have a full-time job and pay 85 percent of the bills. I take care of the kids, cook and clean, but nothing makes him happy. I would really appreciate your advice. -- LOST IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOST: Nothing you do will make your husband happy. You are married to an abusive blackout drunk. Demand that he enter an abuse treatment program. If he refuses, then leave now, before the example he sets when he has been drinking further damages your children. If you need information about forming an escape plan, go online to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website ( There is also a toll-free 24-hour hotline: 1-800-799-7233.