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by Abigail Van Buren

Three's Too Crowded for Wife in 'Shades of Grey' Marriage

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my best friend for nine years. We have our ups and downs, but we're generally happy. When "Fifty Shades of Grey" came out, I told him I was interested in exploring that scene. He was thrilled because he's always been in the lifestyle but was afraid to scare me away.

Fast forward four years: I no longer wish to be part of it. It's not for me. I agreed to have a live-in submissive with the understanding that she leaves if I say so. But he's now calling me selfish for suggesting it be only the two of us. He has no intention of ever changing it.

She helps him with his company, which is also lifestyle-related, and claims he can't do it without her. Their relationship is nonsexual. Am I selfish for wanting a normal marriage again? He gave me the master bedroom to myself and says that's the compromise and I need to let him be him. What's your opinion? -- WRONG TURN IN HOUSTON

DEAR WRONG TURN: Wait a minute! If your husband can't run his company without this woman, then I have to wonder who is the submissive.

If sleeping in an empty master bedroom while he sleeps in another and has a "nonsexual" relationship with this person is what you want for your future, you wouldn't be writing to me. You asked for my opinion, and here it is: Let your husband be himself, permit yourself to be yourself and while you're doing that, consult a divorce lawyer.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender