DEAR ABBY: My mom and I had a very close relationship until two years ago when I found out she was hanging out with my ex-husband. This man ruined me financially with his gambling habit, and Mom was first in line telling me to divorce him. From day one she never liked him. My ex went on to make my life a living hell for many years by not paying child support or spending time with our three kids.
All these years later, they now go to the casino together, and she's got him going to her church. I feel hurt and angry. She sings his praises -- "he's a changed man!" I had to finally stop my daily calls and the many texts we shared all day long because, even after I told her how much this behavior hurt me, she told me she was sorry I felt that way. She claims there is nothing to their relationship except friendship. How do I get past feeling replaced and disrespected? -- MISERABLE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MISERABLE: Your mother may consider your ex to be "changed," but I have to question how much someone with a gambling problem has changed if he is accompanying her to a casino. She must be desperate for company to befriend someone who treated her daughter -- and grandchildren -- so badly.
The way to get past feeling replaced and disrespected is to get on with your own life and spend as little time as possible looking back. Your mother has made her choice, and she isn't going to change. Now it's up to you to find things to fill the void she left.