DEAR ABBY: I used to take care of my grandparents. When my grandmother passed away 10 years ago, I took over cooking, paying the bills, laundry, etc. so my grandfather could stay in his home. He passed away three months ago and left everything to me. I have lived in their house for 24 years. I'm sleeping in the same bedroom I had when I first moved in. I like the neighborhood, and I plan on staying.
Now that my grandfather is gone, people say I should move into his (master) bedroom. And therein lies the question: What should I do with his bedroom furniture? On one hand, it holds special memories, so I'm hesitant to get rid of it. On the other hand, using it will feel like I'm in his room and not my own. It is made of big, bulky, dark, heavy oak that does not fit my style. I feel like getting rid of it is getting rid of him, but I also don't want to live in a "museum." How do I resolve this? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: Your grandfather has been gone only three months, and the rule of thumb is to make no important decisions while you are still grieving. It's practical advice, and those who follow it usually have fewer regrets than those who jump the gun.
For the time being, make no decisions about what to do with the bedroom furniture, which, although it may be somewhat dated, could be valuable, and someone may love to have it (a relative, an antique dealer, etc.). For now, move it into the room you have been using, and move yourself into the master bedroom. Allow yourself more time to make your decision, and when you finally do, you may find yourself ready to make some other updates to your property as well.