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by Abigail Van Buren

Widowed Mother Begins an Affair With Her Married Brother-in-Law

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my husband, "Clyde," for 14 years, and we have a 12-year-old son. Clyde is the nicest man I have ever met, nice to a point that drives me insane. He invites complete strangers over to our house and acts like it's normal.

Last week, he brought a homeless 20-something-year-old woman with him when he came home from work. Without my consent, he let her stay over for four days, until I forced her to leave. I couldn't stand having to cook for and house a woman whose name I didn't even know! After she left, Clyde got mad and said my actions were "rude" and "disrespectful." I think it is unsafe for strangers to be allowed in our home, especially with our son around.

Abby, I don't know what to do. If I can't find a way to stop my husband's recklessness, I may have to end our marriage. Please help. -- OVERWHELMED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR OVERWHELMED: In most marriages, spouses have enough consideration for each other that they ask first before inviting someone -- particularly someone their spouse doesn't know -- into their home. Your "nice" husband seems to have forgotten this.

Your concerns are valid. Because you can't seem to get through to him that what he is doing is risky, insist on some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Perhaps that person can get through to him. He may think what he's doing is admirable, but there are other ways to help homeless individuals.