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by Abigail Van Buren

Grandmothers Differ on Price of Child Care

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has been married just over a year and has recently been blessed with a beautiful baby girl. They also share full custody of her husband's 6-year-old daughter.

Both work full time. I'm retired and have offered my help for day care and transportation to school for the older child on certain days. My son-in-law's mother has agreed to take the other two days that are needed for care. She doesn't work either, and cares for another son's child.

The issue is, she charges for the care she gives her grandchildren. I'm not comfortable with this arrangement. Am I wrong to be angry and insist that I assume full-time responsibility for the care of my grandchildren? My daughter doesn't want to burden me. I'm fully committed to shouldering these responsibilities and would love every minute of it. However, I have serious concerns that the mother-in-law will resent me and my daughter if I demand to take on full-time care. -- FREE-OF-CHARGE GRANDMA

DEAR FREE-OF-CHARGE GRANDMA: If the other grandma needs the money she is being given for child care, you're darn tootin' she's going to resent you for undercutting her. Make your proposal to your daughter, but the final decision about child care rests with her and her husband.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Money