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by Abigail Van Buren

Family Keeps Patriarch on a Pedestal Despite Abusive Behavior

DEAR ABBY: My grandfather has been put on a pedestal as the pillar of our family. Everyone except me adores him. I can barely stomach him. He's a racist and a sexist, and he abused my grandmother to her dying day. He now abuses his current wife. He has made her cry many times, but she still continues to cater to and worship him.

Whenever I bring up his issues, family members say it doesn't matter, and he deserves respect no matter how he acts. When I'm around him, I remain polite and respectful. However, I feel no love for him and have no desire to spend more time with him than I absolutely have to. Am I a terrible person? -- UNCERTAIN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Not at all. You are simply someone who has a lower tolerance for racism, sexism and people who abuse others than the rest of your family.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Abuse