DEAR ABBY: I gave my mom a surprise 90th birthday party. My cousin and his wife and their two adult children and three grandchildren came. I paid $23 a head for a sit-down dinner. Mom was given a scented candle from all of them, but the kicker is my cousin sells them, so it cost them nothing. Is there any way I can tell them how cheap they are without causing a war? -- UNFAIR IN THE EAST
DEAR UNFAIR: I don't recommend you broach that subject the way you presented it to me. It would have been better if more thought had been devoted to selecting a gift, but what you paid for the dinner should have no bearing.