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by Abigail Van Buren

Reader Shares Words to Give Others Strength

DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for years and notice that many of the letters come from people who let others run roughshod over them or do things to them they are not happy with. My suggestion is a simple adage that has helped me through life: "People can only do to you what you allow them to do to you."

I realize this may not be a panacea for all situations, and for those who have difficulty asserting themselves it may not come easy. But folks will continue doing to you what you allow them to do until you say no. What do you think, Abby? -- KIP IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR KIP: I think your mantra is a helpful reminder for those who need it. However, many individuals need more support than that, and for them I would recommend assertiveness training because one of the hardest words in the English language to say is no.

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