Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

Man Seeking Commitment Finds Casual Sex Instead

DEAR ABBY: What are your thoughts about having a sex-only arrangement with an ex? Most of the women I've dated have contacted me after the relationship was over hoping to have "no-strings-attached" sex on a regular basis. I have always refused because I figured it would make it more difficult to move on and to meet someone new.

That said, I'm an attractive guy in my early 30s, and I'd hate to continue to waste my prime sexual years. I'd love to be married and have a family, but I'm struggling to find a woman who is honest, loyal, a good communicator and independent. That leaves me with either having no sex while hoping for a miracle, or a lot of sex with women I don't really like. -- SEARCHING IN OREGON

DEAR SEARCHING: Dating may look like fun, but at a certain point it becomes serious business. You have reached an age at which you know what you are looking for. However, you will never find it as long as you tie yourself to women who don't fit the bill. This does not mean you must live like a monk, only that you direct your sexual (and emotional) energies forward rather than backward if your goal is marriage and a family.

Recent on uexpress