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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Plans to Give Girlfriend a Ring Without a Proposal

DEAR ABBY: Please explain why DJs or bands think it's appropriate to blast their music at occasions like weddings, dinners or any gathering, for that matter, to the point that the guests have to shout at each other. I thought music was supposed to be in the background, to be enjoyed during a meal or conversation, then raised a little louder for dancing, since dancers want to hear the music.

I was at a golf tournament recently, and we asked the DJs to turn the volume down because the players were still golfing. They did, but when players started coming in, the music got louder and louder until it was blasting. The more people who came in, the louder it got. Abby, how do you feel about this? -- TOO LOUD IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR TOO LOUD: This may happen because of the size of the room or the mood the musicians are attempting to create. However, unless music is being played in a dance club, increasing the volume to the point that attendees cannot comfortably carry on a conversation is intrusive.