Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Friend Fears Couple's Grief Is Overwhelming Them

DEAR ABBY: I recently became friendly with a couple who lost their 40-year-old son six months ago. We have grown close over the last several months.

The issue is, as they are mourning the passing of their child, they have turned their home into a shrine. There are pictures of him in every room, etc. I know everyone handles grief differently, but this seems excessive, if not a little creepy.

I suggested they see a therapist, which they did, but only a couple of times. Believe it or not, they were told they were on the right track! Do you have any suggestions? -- FINDS IT DEPRESSING IN INDIANA

DEAR FINDS: I sure do! Stop judging that couple and expecting them to get over the loss of their child on your timetable. Their therapist has told them they are on the right track, and if you are going to continue to be a supportive friend, you must abandon your preconceptions about how they should deal with their loss. Be supportive. Listen when they need to talk. And when you can, give them positive messages that may lighten their load.

Read more in: Death | Friends & Neighbors