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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife on the Verge of Divorce Calls for a One-Year Reprieve

DEAR ABBY: My husband has less and less interest in me. It started with the last presidential election. Since then, I have cut way back on politics because he doesn't want to hear any of it. Being an activist on several fronts, including politics and other areas, this is a big, emotional part of who I am. I get so upset by his silences that I stop talking to him completely.

I'm spent from feeling so lonely, so unworthy of love, helpless, hopeless and powerless. I can't take this much longer. He says he wants to be with me, and he has just started private therapy. I, too, am in therapy.

I was ready to draw up divorce papers when I suddenly changed my mind. I told him I'd wait a year for him to have his therapy, and then we'd review everything we had learned and proceed from there.

Have I made a mistake? Right now, I can't stand to be around him. He can be the world's greatest giver, but other times he's a selfish, insensitive, arrogant know-it-all. I don't know if I'm still in love with him. Does this proposed one-year respite have any chance of working? -- SAD WIFE IN BUFFALO

DEAR WIFE: Yes, it does. It appears that in the midst of your pain and turmoil you experienced a brief moment of clarity. Your decision to give your husband -- and yourself -- a year of therapy and then revisit the issue of divorce was both wise and brilliant. You married each other for a reason; now give yourselves a chance to remember what it was.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce