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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife's Attraction to Woman Throws Life Into Confusion

DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old woman. I have been married to my husband for 28 years and never cheated. We have a good life together, and our sex life has always been great, but I have recently fallen in love with another woman.

I haven't told anyone, not even her. She has made several comments and advances toward me, but she frequently makes comments like, "I don't swim in the lady pond."

The two of us recently went out of town together. When she kissed me on my neck, I pulled away and nothing more happened. I am positive that if I hadn't, something would have happened.

I feel like I'm going crazy because I think about her every minute. We talk on the phone several times a day. She's married (to a man) and has been for 30 years. Is it possible for two straight women to suddenly fall in love with each other? Should I tell her how I feel? Please help me. I'm confused, lost and in turmoil. -- FALLING IN LOVE

DEAR FALLING: Yes, it is possible for members of both sexes to become attracted to someone of the same sex and fall in love. Have an honest conversation with the woman. Tell her you are confused about what happened on the trip. I'm not sure she was completely honest about her "swimming" habits, but you may or may not be the first woman she has become attracted to.

I hesitate to advise what steps to take beyond that since you are both in longtime, committed relationships. Much will depend upon what she has to say.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender | Love & Dating