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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Panics When Plans Are Made for Grandkids to Move In

DEAR ABBY: I have five grown children and three grandchildren. They have always come first, especially my grandchildren. When I began the relationship with my husband, I told him how important both were to me and that, no matter what, my grandchildren always came first. He agreed and said he felt the same way.

Now, two years into our marriage, my daughter and grandchildren want to come live with us for nine months while her husband is deployed. My husband is freaking out and keeps complaining every day even though they aren't even here yet. He has pushed me to my breaking point, and I am not sure what to do. I would never tell him that or act that way toward his children or grandchildren. I'm now considering divorce. What should I do? -- FAMILY FIRST IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FAMILY FIRST: I can't help but wonder how you would really feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you be as accommodating as you expect him to be, or would you be panicking, too?

Remind your husband that this is what he agreed to before your marriage, and point out that this isn't forever. It will be for only nine months. Tell him it will be an opportunity for him to get to know the grandkids and vice versa. Who knows? He might even enjoy it.

If he's still unhappy after a reasonable period of time after they arrive, then it may be time to discuss separating. But don't jump the gun.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce