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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Has Misgivings About Rough Talk in the Bedroom

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 25 years and have three adult children who no longer live with us. We are religious and belong to a conservative church.

We have a satisfying sex life. About 15 years ago we started using graphic language during our lovemaking. We find it exhilarates and enhances our experience. We do not call each other names; we use graphic words to express how good we feel during the act. The excitement I feel from this is cheaper than Viagra.

Is what we are doing wrong? We are empty nesters. I worry about what would happen if our closest religious friends knew. Would they feel the same way toward us? I believe words become wrong when they are used for the wrong motive. When I use them with my wife for better sex, my motive is pure. Do you think other religious couples enjoy this activity? -- BEDROOM SECRET IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR SECRET: Unless your religious friends have a hidden listening device in your bedroom, your worries are groundless. What happens in the bedroom between two adults -- as long as it is consensual and hurts neither one -- is OK and nobody else's business. As to whether other religious married couples do something similar to what you and your wife are doing, I think the odds are pretty good they are doing that and more.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender