DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing this guy, "Jason," for a year and eight months. I love him and he loves me, but I've been offered a really good job about three hours from where we live. It is a job I've been wanting for a long time, with retirement, pension and other benefits. Once I get in and there's an opening here, I can apply and move back.
Jason doesn't want me to accept the job because he says long-distance relationships never work. I told him I'm willing to try. Is it selfish of me to accept this job in spite of being in a relationship with someone I want a future with, knowing it could possibly break us up? -- CONFUSED IN THE WEST
DEAR CONFUSED: It's not selfish. "Selfish" is a boyfriend (not even a fiance) who would expect you to pass up an opportunity that offers retirement, pension and other benefits knowing how important it is to you. Mature adults are able to defer gratification and forgo an immediate reward in anticipation of a later one. Please remember that.