DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are in our 50s. We have lived together for two years. He's retired. I work full time.
We have a woman friend (married with kids) he sees almost daily during the summer at the swimming pool. Every day he says to her, "What time will you be here? I'll be here around 10. See ya then." She brings him food occasionally while they're there. (He hasn't told me, but I know she has.)
Sometimes he can be in a foul mood, and all he wants is to go to the pool to relax. When we go, his eyes search for her and if/when he sees her, they light up and he gets a big smile on his face. When I pointed it out to him, he gave me the silent treatment for a couple of hours. Then he accused me of being jealous.
We are in a committed relationship, but I find this threatening. Was I wrong to say what I did? -- GEORGIA GIRL
DEAR GEORGIA GIRL: No, but after he accused you of being jealous, what you should have told him was he was right, and that you wish his eyes would light up that way when he sees you. It appears your guy has developed a crush. If you handle it with humor, it will pass. However, if you don't, you will continue to make him feel defensive -- which is counterproductive -- so use a light touch.