Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old widow who lost my husband 5 1/2 years ago. I became reacquainted with a former classmate at a high school reunion, and we started dating. He makes me laugh, takes me to dinner and movies, and we have a great time together.

One night, I let him stay over because he was going to go to church with me the next morning. He lives 45 minutes away. My son drove by (intentionally), saw his car and confronted us at church in front of people. He walked up to my friend and said, "Well, how did you enjoy your sleepover at my mother's house last night?" This was the first time they had ever met!

Their bitterness toward each other has escalated, and now my son has given me an ultimatum: Choose between his family or my friend. He has my only grandchildren.

I am so depressed, I don't know what to do. I don't want my son dictating my life, but I want to see my grandchildren. They truly are the most important people in my life. I could break up with my friend, but then my son would think he won. Any thoughts? -- SO, SO SAD

DEAR SAD: You are all adults. Your son was a mile out of line to do what he did. Why would he be patrolling your home? Personally, I think what he did was a little sick.

This is not a question of winning or losing. For your own sake, you must not allow him to tell you how to conduct your personal life. I would recommend family therapy for all of you if your self-righteous son would agree. But if he won't, my advice to you is to live your own life.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Family & Parenting

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married soon to the best guy ever, and I couldn't be more excited. My older sister is my maid of honor, and she has been doing an amazing job with the planning of my bachelorette party, showers, etc.

Two years ago, my sister was engaged to a man named "Sean." Six months before their wedding, Sean broke the engagement without warning, and along with it, my sister's and my family's hearts. About a month ago, they decided to get back together and are trying to make things work.

My fiance and I have decided not to invite Sean to our wedding. We believe it's too soon for him to be around the family, but more importantly, we don't think our wedding day is an appropriate time for him to be "re-introduced." Is it selfish to exclude him from our nuptials? How should we tell my sister? -- SELFISH IN THE WEST

DEAR SELFISH: I'm glad you asked. While it's your right as the bride to exclude whomever you choose, it would be selfish and I strongly advise you -- for the sake of future family harmony -- not to do this. Your sister has been doing everything she can to make this milestone event in your life wonderful. To exclude Sean would be a poor way to thank her for her efforts.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Holidays & Celebrations

It's Independence Day!

DEAR READERS: Have a very happy and healthy Fourth of July, everyone. And please be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Health & Safety

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)