DEAR ABBY: I divorced my wife eight years ago. But she still takes every opportunity to make me look bad in front of her family and mine.
I met someone recently, and we care deeply for each other. There are no marriage plans for the future, but I don't want to keep our relationship a secret. I'm reluctant to tell the family about her because of the fallout it may create, and for fear that my son and daughter may prevent me from seeing my grandchildren. My new lady is 19 years my junior, which won't help the situation. I am at a loss about what to do. Can you help? -- PANIC IN PITTSBURGH
DEAR PANIC: Eight years after your divorce it should surprise no one that you have finally met someone. Because your ex-wife's pattern of behavior all this time has been to try to make you look bad, your family should recognize it for what it is -- the reaction of an unhappy and bitter woman who would probably do the same thing even if you entered a monastery.
Live your life and don't let it be ruled by fear. You divorced your ex eight years ago, but fear is the ball and chain by which she still controls you.