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Godmother Is Unwilling to Fund Girl's Plan to 'Play House'

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are proud parents of two adult daughters. They both graduated from a local university. Our rule was if they were to complete their education locally, they had to continue to live at home.

Now, our goddaughter "Justine" is in community college and planning to transfer to a four-year college next semester. I was told recently that she's been trying to convince her boyfriend to get a place together. Justine's parents would prefer she remain at home, but won't fight her if she moves in with her boyfriend. I'm pretty sure they'll continue to fund her education as best they can until she graduates.

We have been contributing financially toward our goddaughter's education. My husband and I feel that it's a waste of money just so they can "play house." She has a good relationship with her family and can come and go as she pleases. I'm afraid they will run into money issues and use the money we give her to live on instead of for school, which is not OK with me. Plus, I don't think I should do any different for her than I did for my own children.

I'm afraid if I let her know how I feel, it will strain our relationship -- perhaps even the one we have with her parents. Should this be my concern or should I let it go? -- HER GODMOTHER

DEAR GODMOTHER: It's time for an honest conversation with your goddaughter, and it wouldn't be a bad idea if you included her parents. Explain that you would be uncomfortable subsidizing her if she lives with her boyfriend because it's not how you raised your children. You have already contributed generously to her education.

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