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by Abigail Van Buren

Teen Caught in Violent Gang Seeks Way to Straighten Out

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I are still living in the same house for financial reasons. We speak to each other only regarding our kids and the house. Otherwise, we keep our lives as separate as possible. I haven't spoken to anyone from his family since our separation more than a year ago.

What would be expected of me if someone in his family falls ill or passes away? We were married 30-plus years. I don't think I'd feel comfortable inserting myself into their private time, yet I feel like maybe I should, considering our kids and the amount of time I've known them all. Thoughts or rules? -- DON'T KNOW MY PLACE IN THIS

DEAR DON'T KNOW: If your presence would provide comfort to the grieving family members, you should go to the viewing or funeral. If you feel it would prove stressful, then send a card or flowers expressing condolences.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Money | Death