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by Abigail Van Buren

'Emotional Affair' With Co-Worker Remains a Threat to Marriage

DEAR ABBY: I recently discovered my wife was having an "emotional affair" with an also-married co-worker. She swears it wasn't physical, but their texts contain professions of love for each other and claims of "I can't wait to see you again." As I read them, my heart was pounding out of my chest, and I wasn't sure if I would survive the day.

My wife blames it on my emotional shortcomings. I agree that we have had issues. But I love her very much, and I don't want to see our marriage fail. No one forced her to have an affair. But she refuses to accept that. How can I get her to acknowledge that what she did has threatened our marriage and gutted me? -- HURTING IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HURTING: Unless you and your wife are willing to deal with the issues that led to her having the emotional affair, she may continue to seek fulfillment elsewhere. Stop arguing and agree to go as a couple to a licensed marriage and family therapist. You both have work to do repairing your relationship, and doing so may take time and mediation.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Work & School