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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Plans Birthday Surprise for Husband's 40th

DEAR ABBY: I am surprising my husband for his 40th birthday with a guys' trip. All of his best friends, except one, live out of state, and one lives out of the country. I am delighted that they are willing to fly in for his birthday. He's going to be so excited.

My dilemma lies in what to do about the hotel costs. I offered to pay for a room for them to share for the weekend. However, one member of the group insists on paying for his share of the room. The others haven't said anything yet.

If they offer to pay for the room, should I let them? Or should I insist on paying because the trip was my idea? I don't want anyone to feel obligated to spend so much money since they are all paying their own airfares, which they insisted on. -- SURPRISED IN THE WEST

DEAR SURPRISED: I'm sure your husband's friends are pleased that you planned the birthday reunion. If they offer to pay for the room they will be sharing, you should let them. However, if anyone does not make the offer, pay his portion.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Holidays & Celebrations | Money | Etiquette & Ethics | Friends & Neighbors