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DEAR ABBY: My husband is retired. Except for golf a few times a week, he's home all the time. He has taken to looking at porn a lot when he is home, including pictures and reading racy stories.

When I come home from work, he's on the computer. I'm very uncomfortable with it, and I have told him so. He says I should join him looking at the pictures and reading the stories. Am I a prude or is this behavior unusual? -- TURNED OFF IN HOUSTON

DEAR TURNED OFF: I'm reluctant to label either of you with only the sketchy facts you have presented. Much would depend upon the kind of pictures and stories your husband is viewing, because one person's porn can be another person's erotica. Many couples enjoy viewing it together and consider it to be a marital aid. Perhaps you should look over his shoulder a time or two and see if it works for you. Also, encourage your husband to get out and do other things, so his porn-watching time is not so excessive.


DEAR ABBY: I am a 71-year-old woman living with my 49-year-old single daughter in her house. She works during the day and I stay at home. She expects me to clean the house, walk the dog, work in the garden, do the laundry, make dinner, etc. I am willing to help with these things, but she doesn't seem to appreciate what I do, as is often demonstrated by her comments concerning the amount of noise I make when I eat, my bedroom not being clean enough and my activity level.

She says she's doing this "for my own good," and that I am lazy and unmotivated to do anything but play on my computer (she unplugged the internet because she thought I spent too much time on it). She claims she loves me and wants me to live with her, but I feel I should move out before this gets physical and she hurts more than my feelings. What should I do? -- BOARDER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BOARDER: Move if you can afford to do it. Your daughter may love you, as I am sure you love her, but the situation you describe isn't healthy for either of you. You are being treated like a servant, not a mother. You are right to be concerned that your daughter's verbal abuse may escalate, because it very well could.


DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We agree that we would like to be married in Las Vegas. However, it would mean excluding our extended families as most of them would not travel. We thought about having a wedding and reception in our state, then traveling to Vegas to be married there as well. Are there any etiquette breaches with this idea? -- VEGAS WEDDING

DEAR VEGAS WEDDING: By the time you get to Vegas you'll be married. While I don't think there would be any etiquette breaches if you want another ceremony, it seems to me that it would be more accurate to call it a "renewal of vows" rather than a second wedding.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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