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by Abigail Van Buren

Marriage Loses Intimacy After Accident Disables Husband

DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my husband of 20 years was in a serious accident. He was placed on disability because of it. Because of the accident, he can't perform sexually because his "goods" don't work.

I am many years younger than he is and still in my prime. I need and want the cuddling and intimacy I'm not getting and haven't gotten for years. I have thought about finding a friend with benefits, but that's risky. I can't talk to him because he flips out and says, "Then leave!"

I feel our marriage has become just a living arrangement. Talking to a counselor or a doctor is out because he will refuse. Please help. -- LOST AND LONELY

DEAR LOST AND LONELY: Your marriage doesn't have to be "just a living arrangement." Although sex may no longer be possible with your husband, there's no reason why there can't be cuddling, intimacy and affection. Talking to a licensed marriage and family therapist will be helpful for you, whether or not your husband agrees to go with you.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender | Health & Safety