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by Abigail Van Buren

Family Connections Keep Man Tied to Ex-Wife

DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, I ran into "John," an old friend who was going through a divorce. We began a wonderful relationship, although he was having a hard time emotionally. I was John's confidante and best friend. About six months after the divorce was final, his ex-wife found out he was with me. She decided she wanted him back, and he reconciled with her.

John and I still talk, and since then they have broken up three or four additional times. I want him back, but only if she's completely out of the picture. She's a master manipulator and uses their adult kids and grandchildren to control him. How can I get it through John's head that if he stands his ground, she will go away and find someone else? -- STAYING WITH IT IN OHIO

DEAR STAYING: If you think John's wife (ex?) will ever be completely out of the picture, you are mistaken. She will always be there in some capacity because of the children and grandchildren. If you can't accept that fact, you should end the relationship before you waste any more time.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Marriage & Divorce