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by Abigail Van Buren

Friends Look on as Couples Struggles With Husband's Obesity

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are close friends with another couple we love dearly. Lately the wife has been concerned about her husband's continued weight gain. She makes comments when we are all out to dinner about what he wants to order and insists they share a meal or that he choose something lighter.

I know she's concerned about diabetes and heart disease and all the other ills obesity can bring, but I don't think this is helping. In fact, I think it's pushing him to want to eat more. How can we as friends help them to overcome this? For the record, he now weighs more than 300 pounds. -- BEST FRIENDS IN TEXAS

DEAR FRIENDS: Your friend's husband is dangerously overweight. She may be panicking at the reality that the load he's carrying could shorten their marriage. What she doesn't realize is that the motivation for him to deal with his weight problem has to come from him, not her.

Rather than second guess what he's eating when you are all out to dinner, she should encourage him to talk with his doctor and a nutritionist about what he needs to do to get healthy. Please tell her that. It won't happen overnight, and she should expect him to fall off the wagon sometimes. But with determination, it can be done.

Read more in: Health & Safety | Friends & Neighbors