DEAR ABBY: I know three people who have cancer. One is terminal, one is probably terminal and the other is possibly terminal. The second and third individuals I've known for a long time. The terminal person, however, is a social acquaintance -- someone I met through a close friend.
Over the last two years we have socialized a half-dozen times, but we've never had an extended conversation, and I don't especially like her. As her condition has worsened, she has withdrawn from most socializing. I receive updates from my friend, who takes her to appointments, shopping, etc. when she can't drive herself or when she feels the woman needs company. Officially, I don't know anything. But I was told her oncologist has informed her she's got six months.
My question is: Should I contact her? I'll feel like an idiot and like I'm invading her privacy if I do, yet somehow guilty if I don't. The only thing I would say to her is that I'm sorry this has happened to her. My gut tells me I should keep quiet, but my guilt is getting in the way. -- FRIEND OF A FRIEND IN NEW YORK
DEAR FRIEND: I assume you know as much about this woman as you do because your good friend is confiding in you. If you don't know anything "officially," I assume your friend was sworn to secrecy and chose to tell you because she receives emotional support from you. I see nothing to be gained by inserting yourself at this point, and you should not feel guilty for keeping your distance. Listen to your gut.