DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 20 years. I'm retired, but she still works 13-hour days in the ICU.
When she told me before we were married that she didn't clean house, I didn't realize she meant ever! I run the dishwasher, I wash and dry clothes, and I pick up my stuff. When I cleaned the kitchen and put all the bills she had scattered around in one stack, I was told, "Now I can't find anything! I have my own system, and you messed it up!"
She has promised that "when she has time" she'll clean house, but several times when she had a few days off, she spent them playing Candy Crush on her tablet. I have never told her she must clean; I say we need to do it. She ignores me.
Abby, we both have allergies and asthma issues, and the bugs are starting to get bad even though we don't leave old food out. What can I do? Hope she forgives me after I clean? -- IN A MESS IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR IN A MESS: No. The responsibility for ensuring your home is healthy and habitable should not rest solely on your shoulders. I DO think you should hire a house cleaner to come in once a week. Your wife has a stressful job, and when she's off she may need to rest. Because you are retired and she's still working, it shouldn't break the bank, so discuss this option with her.